Two things before you read any further…
1) this post has been a long time in the works. B) this isn’t going to be a fluffy, happy, uplifting, non chaotic, motherhood-is-fucking-easy post. If that’s what you need right now, I suggest you come back another day.
That being said, into the fire we go!
Where to begin?
Practice and all is coming…
There is so much happening right now, I can’t even begin to figure out up from down. Bug is growing so fast and the count down for him to start school is just about a month away. I know that it will be great for both of us to have two mornings apart (but don’t fucking fool yourself, after I drop him off, I’ll be crying like a new born baby! Even if I’m getting my first mani/pedi in like a year. Mixed emotions, indeed.) and I will be able to start sorting through all these amazing opportunities I have been working hard to create. More yoga, more writing, more self care, MORE LIZ. That’s the part no one tells you about when you become a mom, you kinda lose your sense of self. You become mama (always), partner, clothes washer, dish doer, cook, yoga teacher (or insert your job title here). It becomes chaos. This is life in the fire. Can’t take the heat, well then buck up kiddo because this life is about stoking that internal fire to get shit done! Practice and all is coming… But first shit is gonna get messy!
Example, I’ve been walking around the house all morning, slowly working on this post in my mind. Tying to remember key phrases I want to write down, but it’s hard to keep track when I’m chasing the Bug around. The good momma I am, I tried an episode of Sesame Street so I could get a minute to type. Alas, it lasted 10 minutes 😉
The chaos of my day,chasing after the living, breathing, running part of my heart and soul. He is the reason I am as creative as I am, that I am teaching where I am, that all the fire sparked Within me is blazing! He is the best part of me, but man some days the chaos just seeps everywhere. Practice and all is coming, but first shit is gonna get messy!
Life in the fire is hot, chaotic, and messy. That is the joy of tackling a yoga teaching career head on while raising a fabulously wild boy! Toddler guru as I love to call him, reminds me to be present, to live in the now, to let the spark grow, and to thrive in the chaos/mess. This is our yoga practice friends! Feeding the fire within, not running to seek out quiet and peace, but practicing no matter the scenario 🙂
“What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” -Mary Oliver