it is in the every day that we grow the most. and when we see it our response is always the same,
“When did this happen?”
I’ve started to really begin to notice the shift, whether it be that spring has sprung (which you’d have to be in a climate controlled storage container 27/4 to NOT see spring here) or the growth spurt Bug is going through. Growth is all around me, but today I really noticed it within myself. Noticing that I am not the woman or person I thought I was, not to be confused with thinking I am a bad person or a “wrong” person, but just that what I saw of me was an old layer of skin that has now been shed. Like winter or our heavy coats or a snakes skin. I have grown, I no longer have need of late nights reading or writing to soothe my soul. Instead I now crave the circle of community, friends who are more like family, to gather and celebrate daily life while our little play. I have a new longing for people who drop by for coffee and hugs. I have grown.
My practice has changed too, no longer looking to be stronger (though, I’m pretty fucking positive I need to be), but instead finding the surrender and softness in each pose no matter how challenging. Today I hung in handstand longer than I ever have, but it is not the “hang” that I am relishing in. It is the fact that there was no need to strong arm my way in, it just happened. With ease.
It is moments like this or when we finally see the buds blooming on the trees, that our child has grown up a little bit more, or that we ourselves have shed a part of ourselves that we had not known was done. Sure stillness helps to reflect and see where and what we are, but really it is when our hearts and eyes are aligned that we can really “see” and trust that we are a little further down the road, a little taller in height, or budding our own blooms.
Where have you grown? What are ready to shed?