The yoga of being a “perfect” mom

can you hear the sarcasm?

  if not, let me assure you, I am far from perfect. Very far. But here is the thing, perfection is a myth, not just because it doesn’t exist. Oh it exists in our minds alright, but it varies from person to person!  What you see is perfect and what I see as perfect are probably different, and so on and so on. Each person has a different vision of this so called perfection. So let’s all stop. And let go of that goal.

Social media is no help, after all, Facebook and Instagram show us happy children or vacations with the family or hell, well-dressed mamas and their well-dressed kiddos. Clean house, ha! I admit, I try to capture those moments, but it’s not for anyone else to compare! It is a record of a moment in which things were good. A moment where I felt in balance, life was just “so”. But it is just a moment. Perhaps a second. And the truth is, imperfection is perfection.

Whether it is the fact that I encourage Bug to watch PBS (although not on the iPad, but on the huge tv) while I make dinner or lunch most days or when I snap a perfectly time photo of us smiling, I am far from perfect. And that is perfectly ok!

Recently, I have adopted the one day a week “away from it all” 12-24 hrs social media break. The day varies, depending on the week of course, but I have to say it helps cut back in the comparison game. Especially as I look at my IG feed of young yoga mamas who look like they got their shit together and get their kiddos to drink green smoothies. Yea, it’s a rarity in my house. Green juice with lots of apples, sure. But a smoothie, not happening! Or mamas getting their practice in and still looking amazing, maybe it’s because I’m so pregnant, but I can barely wear clothes that don’t feel like a circus tent, let alone show the world how stunningly beautiful I am. Thank guru for pregnancy glow!!! I assure, that is what has me looking at all beautiful these days (considering I can’t sleep!). But I digress! 

This isn’t a pity me post or please tell me how awesome I, oh no! I’m trying to be honest, I’m trying to say, don’t believe what you see. Bug will scream at the grocery store when I have to pry whatever snack out of his hands to pay for it. He also likes to pretend toot on me, which he finds hilarious (and I find, well not. It also makes me wonder what I will do with two boys!) and will encourage others to “toot on mommy”. Now neither of these things make me a “bad” mom, of course neither would win me a contenders ribbon for participation in the race for perfect mom. Truly though, this idea in my head of perfection has to end. Whether it be the perfection of a yoga pose (no handstands for this mama!) or what motherhood “should” look like, it is all in my head. My heart and soul tells me that a good mama worries about being a good parent which makes them a good parent (weird circular talk huh!) and my yoga practice is perfect for me because I acknowledge where I am at on OR off the mat. 

Perfection is a falsehood, a lie, a myth, and it is high time to quit that shit out! It’s time to practice the yoga of being a “perfect” mom, which is to say that each day is new. Each day you do what you can with where you are at and each day you breathe, smile, laugh, cry, yell, shut the door, pray, and then do it all again the next day. Not because you have to, but because you chose to when you became a mama. Each day, let’s just be ourselves. Be the best US we can be, be present with our kiddos and with ourselves and with our partners. Because that is living. And that is life. And that is yoga.

This is my yoga: to wake up, be me, love this wild child, grow this second boy, and stop with the image in my mind of how it should be by starting to love and live in what is.

xo

Liz

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Terri says:

    amen! i had to stop reading a lot of mommy blogs because i can’t (and won’t) keep up with all the cute pinteresting and crafting projects to enrich their kids’ lives. kudos to other moms who make the time for that and have the skills, but it’s not for me. we are the only Mom our kids have and will know, and we can only do what we can with what we have. nothing wrong with that!

  2. This is awesome. I’m only a mama at heart, no little ones running around, but the message is the same. We’re all human and we all have dirty dishes once in a while (or, you know, more than that).
    I think there needs to be more raw honesty on social media that reminds people we all go through tough shit – trouble is, those moments don’t make nearly as nice photos, and sometimes I feel there’s a fine line between authenticity and inspiration that’s trying to sell you something.
    Then the inverse is true – sometimes, a gleeful moment of serenity goes by and I actually have to catch myself and say hey, it’s OK that you don’t have a camera in your hand every minute and it’s OK that this moment is yours without posting to instagram.
    Best of luck with the hardest job in the world, yogimama, and keep on sharing your light!
    Shaz

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