This is about to get really honest, it’s not just a post-natal post or a motherhood post or a body image post. This is about shedding skin, becoming who you are in the moment, and embracing your new skin when changes occur. This about seeing yourself through another’s eyes.
This photo was taken last night right before i was about to teach, my flight attendant arms tell me I was saying with my body “yes, I’m the teacher, yes I’ve got a baby strapped to my chest” as I listed out the props we would need for restorative (yes the phrase “the usual suspects” was uttered. Regulars to my class know, you grab what you want. More squish or less, doesn’t matter to me!) before I ran off to the restroom (why stop being honest now 🙂 ). Upon seeing this posted on IG last night, I smiled at how silly I looked, arms all in the air (like I just don’t care… Because I don’t). When I shared it, the response from one of the besties made me stop and look harder at what was captured in this moment:
“I love this picture of you so much. not only does it capture the eight limb//life perfectly, but it shows what a radiant goddess you are”
Yes. Wait, does it?
Sure, this is the eight limb//life Nancy and I promote, balance on or off the mat. That yoga is in all things and home life and studio life ARE NOT separate. At first glance, besides the silly arms, I see a women who do badly wanted to teach again that she goes to the studio with a three week old strapped to her chest. That she hold space for both motherhood and class, often getting caught up in one forgetting momentarily about the other. I see a women I would not recognize as me if I didn’t know better. So I took a moment to really look at myself through the eyes of another. My students eyes, a strangers eyes. Here is what I saw:
- This women has a confidence I don’t feel. She is commanding a room, holding space already.
- Not that size matters, but damn this lady just had a baby!! She looks amazing (I can see where the compliments she gets come from)
- She loves what she does, motherhood and teaching. She may not get to travel the world (or maybe she does, how would I know) teaching 100’s of classes a year, but she pours her heart into every class she teaches. You can see it there in her smile.
There may be more, but with out getting caught up in the beauty part, it seems to me this woman is owning it. Owning herself! Rocking who she is no matter what!
I made my new moon manifesto on list this morning (better late than never) and it had a lot of the usual things I want to create: fuller classes, more people enjoying restorative yoga, the boys sleeping well, eight limb// life growing (the 2016 version, btw is going to be different, bigger, better!!) into a bigger community and reaching more people, and lastly (this one came to me randomly, I don’t even remember writing it) “be more comfortable in my new skin.”
I have shed who I was before having the boys, before discovering what I’m good at, before this photo was taken, and I am embracing all that I am today.
(Ps, I can’t thank you enough Ashley for snapping this and sharing it with me. I never would see myself this way without you doing so.)