“do anything, but let it produce joy”~ walt whitman
all too often, i (like everyone else) end up playing the “if this…., then…” game.
if i get this job/this promotion/can do this handstand/have a million dollars, then i will be happy/will take a vacation/will be a yogi/finally feel whole. the truth is, we need to live in the now and then we will be happy.
today is A’s first day back to school, our morning was filled with anxiety and some dragged heels. bear and i have had a beautiful day thus far filled with teaching a private class, lunch with a close friend, and in all the excitement of just us two, he is napping and i have some space. living in the now. marking the end of summer, the rush back to routine and ritual and into structure has had me wanting to “do” all the things as if there were no freedom tomorrow. as if now is the time. living in the now can be a way to tackle chores (i might as well purge the closet now, it’s on my mind kinda thinking), make the lunch date with a friend (hi, i miss you, want to grab coffee or lunch this week?), or writing (oh, yea my blog, i’ve neglected you. i’m so sorry!), but it can also just be a way to enjoy a moment as it is. like watching the boys playing together after being away for a long weekend, reading a book you’ve been wanting, or taking time to enjoy coffee/practice/life.
this weekend, while we were in SF, i found myself awake at the ungodly hour of 3:15am. instead of fighting to get back to sleep, i took a few time for my practice. like i got to do some yoga!!! a nice 50 minutes in the dark while my family slept, i moved, challenged myself even. i moved, breathed, felt. i connected to my home and she respectfully told me to eff off. seriously, my temple is not happy for my delay in moving and “working”. the power of now can be rude some times, but a mama has to do what a mama has to do. afterwards, i took my savanna with the boys and enjoyed the bliss of being present while everyone else slept.
how can you be more present? what now are you living in?